How To Leverage EQ To Boost Your Influence On The Product Team

Looking to level up your product management game?

In this episode, Hannah Clark is joined by Shamsheer Shergill—Senior PM & Coach, ex-Pinterest & Thumbtack—to talk about the two essential tools for successful product management: emotional intelligence and accountability.

Tune in to discover the significance of feedback and its effective delivery, the importance of context in stakeholder communication, and how to hone emotional intelligence to grow your influence as a PM.

Interview Highlights

  • Introduction and Journey [0:55]
    • Shamsheer graduated as an engineering major and worked as a software engineer for a couple of years.
    • Transitioned to product management after working with product professionals and witnessing their impactful decisions and user-centric approach.
    • Relocated to San Francisco and held various product roles, ranging from a five-person to an 80-person product team.
    • Notable career highlights include experiences at well-known companies like Pinterest and Thumbtack.
    • As she advanced through her product management career path, she got the opportunity to coach both engineers and product managers in a senior role.
    • Transitioned into coaching analytically minded individuals, focusing on unblocking obstacles and driving impactful results.
  • The Power of Emotional Intelligence [2:57]
    • Shamsheer encountered difficulties in three distinct areas:
      • Internal collaboration with other teams, facing obstacles and resistance.
      • Close interaction with leadership, especially vital in a bottom-up culture for upward influence.
      • Influencing the overall team, particularly the engineering and design units, to align with a devised strategy.
    • The common thread across these challenges was the theme of influence and the need to guide others toward a product direction for achieving desired outcomes.
    • Overall, the challenge was navigating and overcoming resistance to move teams and projects in the desired product direction for optimal results.
  • Emotional Intelligence and Influencing Others [4:22]
    • The term "product therapy" is introduced, emphasizing the importance of understanding the motivations and common interests of the individuals involved.
    • A recommended approach is to engage in collaborative sessions, such as brainstorming, to involve all relevant parties in decision-making processes.
    • Emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in influencing stakeholders, understanding their deep motivations, and framing ideas in a way that resonates with their language and concerns.
    • The importance of discovering common ground is emphasized, where the shared goal of driving results for users becomes the foundation for collaboration.
    • Shamsheer highlights the need to avoid a one-sided approach and instead find a path forward where all stakeholders have buy-in.

That's where the emotional intelligence piece comes in. It's not just about the idea; it's about who's on the receiving end, and how I can ensure their understanding without any loss in communication.

Shamsheer Shergill
  • Importance of Feedback and Accountability [9:12]
    • Instrumental feedback approach: frame feedback in a non-confrontational manner by focusing on behavior rather than the person.
    • Before giving feedback, consider where the person's focus lies and how the feedback aligns with shared goals.
    • Depersonalize feedback: focus on the impact of behavior rather than making it about the individual, creating a constructive environment.
    • Framing feedback around shared goals: tie feedback to the collective objectives, emphasizing mutual success and clarifying roles and responsibilities.
    • Consider the open-ended environment: understand the reasons behind certain behaviors to find collaborative solutions that address the root cause.
    • Leadership perspective—when managing other PMs, use feedback as an invitation to collaborate, avoiding surprises and creating an environment for effective communication.

When you're giving feedback, sometimes it's helpful to understand where the person's head is at.

Shamsheer Shergill
  • Mastering the Art of Receiving Feedback with Emotional Intelligence [13:19]
    • Depersonalizing feedback:
      • Emphasizes the importance of viewing feedback as someone's perception and opinion rather than a judgment or fact.
      • Encourages individuals to consider how they might feel if receiving the same feedback and to remove themselves from the situation.
    • Reflection on consistent feedback:
      • Suggests that consistent feedback may indicate areas for improvement, prompting individuals to reflect on potential areas of growth.
      • Acknowledges the difficulty of giving feedback and emphasizes the importance of slowing down to consider its value.
    • Emotional response to feedback:
      • Acknowledges that individuals may experience a range of emotions in response to feedback, such as anger or feeling judged.
      • Encourages allowing oneself to feel these emotions and exploring the reasons behind them.
  • Shifting from Blame to Accountability: Cultivating a Positive Culture [16:54]
    • Blame vs. Accountability—discusses the challenge of being accountable for results and how it may sometimes be perceived as blame. Differentiates blame as a closed-off and dead-end conversation, while accountability is a two-player game.
    • Accountability in partnership—explains that accountability involves both parties working together to deliver results. Emphasizes the need to clearly define accountability roles, tailored to the specifics of each team.
  • Fostering Positive Cultural Shifts in Product Teams with Emotional Intelligence [22:22]
    • Sustainability in self-expression—stresses the need for sustainable self-expression, avoiding compromise, and recognizing that one should not act as a "fake person."
    • Navigating different expectations—clarify and discuss individual and collective interpretations of processes like sprint planning. Illustrates the importance of open communication to find common ground and adjust approaches based on organizational needs.
  • Exploring Different Flavors of Product Management [28:46]
    • Growth PM role:
      • Focuses on driving metrics such as activation, engagement, retention, and sign-ups.
      • Emphasizes fast-paced work with many simultaneous small tasks that have a significant impact.
    • Core Product PM role:
      • Centers around understanding the product's purpose and building on that foundation.
      • Tends to be slower in nature with a deeper focus on long-term projects.
    • Platform PM role:
      • Involves working on internally facing products, often tools used by other PMs or stakeholders within the company.

Meet Our Guest

Shamsheer Shergill has spent 8+ years building consumer products within social media, subscription services and marketplaces. Her focus has been largely on product led growth and she's worked on products at scale like Pinterest (300MM+MAU's). She's an expert in growth best practices such as data informed ship decisions, iterative development via A/B testing, and stakeholder management of other key stakeholders to power long term success of her products.

photo of Shamsheer Shergill

So that's really what feedback is—it's not a fact or a judgment, but rather someone's observation. You're free to take it or leave it.

Shamsheer Shergill

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