How Parenting Made Me a Better Product Leader

Becoming a parent profoundly changes how you approach product leadership, blending personal and professional challenges in unexpected ways. Anuj Jhunjhunwala, Director of Product at Merge, shares how parenting teaches lessons in influence without authority, clear communication, and time management that directly apply to leading products.

Anuj offers candid insights on how managing toddlers parallels managing stakeholders, why career growth feels more like navigating a mountain than climbing a ladder, and the paradoxes that trip up many product managers today. This conversation reveals the surprising overlaps between parenting and product leadership, offering fresh perspectives for anyone balancing both worlds.

Interview Highlights

  • Parenting and Product Leadership: Unexpected Lessons [01:23]
    • Parenting pushes you out of your comfort zone and builds resilience that translates to work.
    • Interacting with toddlers teaches emotional regulation and staying level-headed in emotionally charged situations.
    • Communicating with kids sharpens the ability to speak concisely and clearly, focusing on essence over reasoning.
    • Parenting involves constant experimentation and iteration—similar to product management.
    • It's okay to not have all the answers; adapting and learning as you go is part of both parenting and being a PM.

I feel like product management often feels tied to perfectionism. It’s okay to not know what you’re doing. It’s okay to figure things out as you go because the reality is you will. Taking a step back and realizing I don’t have all the answers has been a very refreshing exercise—and that’s totally fine.

Anuj Jhunjhunwala
  • Influencing Without Authority: Lessons from Parenting [05:48]
    • You can't force behavior change—whether in kids or coworkers—people must want to do it themselves.
    • Persuasion and storytelling are key to influencing others, both in parenting and product management.
    • Effective PMs create environments where others understand the "why" behind decisions.
    • Clear, concise communication is essential but must be repeated across multiple channels.
    • The goal is to inspire behavior change through vision, repetition, and empathy.
    • Parenting toddlers is like dealing with unfiltered, intense emotions on “hard mode.”
    • Unlike in the workplace, toddlers express raw reactions constantly, requiring adaptive responses.
    • It teaches you how to anticipate, guide, and shape behavior with patience.
    • There’s a surprising connection between parenting and workplace communication and growth.
    • Both roles involve continuous learning and adjustment.
  • Paradoxes in Product Management [10:30]
    • People often want you to say yes, but are more accepting of "no" than you expect.
    • Writing well is important, but most people won’t fully read what you write due to limited attention.
    • Career growth appears linear at first, but it’s actually unpredictable and non-linear.

People will always want you to say 'yes' to certain things, both internally and externally at your company, but they are much more okay with you saying 'no' than you think.

Anuj Jhunjhunwala
  • Career Growth: A Non-Linear Journey [11:33]
    • Career paths often appear linear from the outside but are far more complex and varied in reality.
    • Success stories leave out the nuanced decisions and challenges behind major career moves.
    • Career growth isn't a checklist or ladder—it's a unique, winding path shaped by individual strengths and gaps.
    • Each new role has different expectations; skills for promotion may differ from those needed to succeed in the role.
    • Treat your career like a product: understand your needs, strengths, and areas to improve.
    • Management isn't the only path—success can look different for different people.
    • Using AI can feel like working with an intern who never progresses but becomes more capable over time.
    • It involves learning how to delegate effectively without managing growth or development.
    • There's shared curiosity and uncertainty about how AI will impact careers in the coming years.
    • The conversation reflects ongoing exploration of AI’s evolving role in professional life.
  • Navigating Modern Attention Spans [16:07]
    • Good writing refines thinking and storytelling, but most people don’t have time to read everything.
    • Attention spans are limited due to constant distractions and information overload.
    • Writing should be clear, concise, and impossible to ignore—use TLDRs, bullets, and bolding.
    • Repetition across formats (docs, Slack, meetings, all-hands) helps ensure the message gets through.
    • Meet your audience where they are and tailor communication to the medium they prefer.
  • Efficiency and Outcomes: The Impact of Parenting [19:35]
    • Having kids forces strict time-boxing and better separation between work and home life.
    • Anuj was previously not good at setting boundaries but now must be fully productive during work hours.
    • Working at home with kids is impractical, both for focus and relationships.
    • This constraint has become a powerful motivator for maximizing productivity during designated work time.
    • AI can help automate low-leverage, repetitive tasks to increase speed and efficiency.
    • It forces prioritization: either spend time manually or build a quick solution to handle it.
    • This shift allows more focus on high-priority, impactful work.
    • Time constraints make this approach both necessary and refreshing.
  • Small vs. Large Companies: Pros and Cons [24:27]
    • Smaller companies ship faster due to stronger team context and closer connection to customers and problems.
    • Less effort is needed to convince others because issues are clearer and more obvious.
    • Fewer approval layers in smaller, flatter organizations speed up decision-making.
    • Startups attract hardworking, driven people focused on building and executing quickly.
    • High agency and direct influence over products motivate fast, focused work.
    • Larger companies move slower due to more layers, though both have pros and cons.
    • Your needs and interests will change over time as you and the company evolve.
    • Early in your career, a startup or big company might suit you differently depending on your preferences.
    • If you thrive in ambiguity and driving uncertain projects, startups may be better.
    • If you want more resources and structure, bigger companies make more sense.
    • Choosing the right fit is a personal trade-off and varies for everyone.
    • Each job teaches you something valuable for the next one.
    • Parenting is another learning experience that contributes to your growth.
    • Life and career are about experimenting, applying lessons, and figuring things out as you go.
    • The process involves pushing yourself and continuously improving.

Meet Our Guest

Anuj Jhunjhunwala is the Director of Product Management at Merge, where he leads the development of unified API solutions that simplify integrations for B2B SaaS companies. With a strong focus on customer-centric product strategies, Anuj has been instrumental in helping organizations streamline their integration processes, enabling faster time-to-market and improved user experiences. He is also a thought leader in the field, sharing insights on modern API strategies and the importance of empathy and influence in product management through webinars and podcasts. Anuj's approach emphasizes the power of collaboration and the need for product managers to build trust and understanding across teams to drive successful outcomes.

photo of Anuj Jhunjhunwala

The reality is that when you’re doing the work and trying to grow your career, it’s not a checklist or a linear ladder. It’s more like charting your path up a hill, with multiple routes to reach the top.

Anuj Jhunjhunwala

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